Rewinding Time For Bella
by ExperimentalMe
Summary: This one shot story takes place during New Moon when Edward is about to convince Bella that he no longer loves her. If Bella could roll back time, what could she say to stop Edward from leaving?


_Synopsis: This one shot story takes place during New Moon when Edward is about to convince Bella that he no longer loves her. If Bella could roll back time, what could she say to stop Edward from leaving?_

_The following, in bold print, is being quoted from New Moon by Stephanie Meyer:_

* * *

"**My world is not for you," he said grimly.**

"**What happened with Jasper, that was nothing, Edward, nothing."**

"**You're right," he agreed, "it was exactly what was to be expected."**

"**You promised in Phoenix. You promised that you would stay."**

"**As long as that was best for you," he interrupted to correct me.**

"**No. This is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted furious, the words exploded out of me. Somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlise told me about that and I don't care Edward. I don't care. I don't care, you can have my soul. I don't want it without you. It's yours already."**

**He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different: harder, like the liquid gold had froze solid.**

"**Bella, I don't want you to come with me" he spoke the words slowly and precisely. His cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.**

**There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.**

"**You don't want me?" I tried out the words. Confused by the way they sounded placed in that order.**

"**No."**

**I stared uncomprehending into his eyes.**

**He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz, hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles.**

Those eyes brought forth a rush of memories, emotions and images that flashed before my eyes: Edward's irrational hatred of me during my first day of school; Edward snatching me from certain death as Tyler's van slid into me; our first day in the meadow when we professed our love for one another; Edward's many nightly visits to my bedroom; Edward's insatiable anger towards the men in Port Angeles who had every intention of hurting me; Edward saving my life yet again after James's venomous bite. Hadn't he proved to me time and time again of the depth and passion of his love towards me? How many more death-defying rescues would it take for me to see that living without me was not an option for Edward?

A burst of intuition flooded my mind, making me aware of a different emotion lurking within the depths of his eyes; it wasn't rejection – no, that was just a façade. What I really saw was something like… like fear. Fear! I briefly staggered backward, as if hit by the force of my realization.

"Bella," Edward said in alarm, "are you alright?" He placed his hand on my arm to steady me.

"Edward," I said in a daze. "Please, just a moment. I've just had an epiphany."

My thoughts were racing a million miles a second, trying to come up with a way to extinguish the gnawing fear which threatened to overtake his heart. My own heart was being pulled in two opposing directions: an overriding fear that Edward would really leave me and a sense of bravado that I would say or do anything to prove my undying love towards him. If only I could be the one with super strength so that I could come to his rescue time and time again. But as a mere human, someone frail, clumsy and plain, what could I offer him except for words? The enormity of the task of finding the right combination of words to say and the time limit – it was so fleeting thinking that at any moment he wanted to walk out of my life - made it that much more difficult for me.

Fighting back the tears that threatened to escape, I said slowly, "Edward, how can I believe you? You've saved my life over and over again: the day that I arrived at school, you could have easily killed me because my blood sang to you; saving me from certain death when Tyler crashed his van into me; finding me in Port Angeles in the nick of time before those men could harm me; sucking out the venom from James's bite and overriding your insatiable need to drain me of blood. Edward, even if you cannot admit it to yourself, I know that you cannot live without me. Fear is the driving force behind your words."

I could tell by his sudden intake of air and involuntary step backwards, that he was shocked by my revelations. I took a step closer to him and pleaded, "Edward, please, please listen! Telling me that you don't want me, is hurting me far more than any physical pain I've endured. Why must you break my heart?" Tears which I had been holding in could no longer obey me; they rushed out in a torrent, leaving me breathless.

Lifting me up bridal style, Edward found a stump and sat down, placing me gently across his lap so that we could easily face one another. When I finally managed to catch my breath, I continued, "I've tried everything I know to show you how much you mean to me - I have risked my life over and over again to be with you. Can't you see how much I need you? It would hurt less to stab myself in the heart than to have you walk out of my life."

"No," he cried out in anguish, "dear God, no! Bella, what have I done?" I was softly shaken as his body shook with tearless sobbing. "Please, please don't hurt yourself. How could I go on if you were to ever hurt yourself because of me? My life has no meaning without you. "

"Forgive me, I had no intention of implying that I would take my own life, Edward. What else can I compare this unbearable pain to? You are trying to leave me! And to lie to me, telling me that you don't want me…" I broke off my sentence as more tears streamed from my eyes.

"Bella," he said soothingly, "if only I could explain how extremely difficult it is for me to hold back from turning into a complete, instinctual animal when I'm around you. You must never forget that I am a vampire who lust for your blood; your blood which has such an overpowering effect on me that I must struggle to retain my humanity."

"No! I will not accept this explanation any more," I shouted at him hotly. "You've proved many times over that you're not physically capable of killing me. I know this Edward, even if you haven't admitted it to yourself."

I softened my tone, "There's something more, isn't there? I can see it in your eyes that there's a greater fear within you. Please try to explain, I need to know what it is that has you so scared that you're willing to leave me. Don't you realize it would destroy me?"

"Damn it Bella! It's just not me! Need I remind you of James?" He spat out his name as if it left a disgusting taste in his mouth. "And it's not just strangers coming out of the woods either Bella. At your birthday party, Jasper would have killed you; Jasper, my own brother. "

I struggled to keep calm. Closing my eyes to take a deep breath, I paused, placing my hand to his cheek. It appeared that he was not going to let the issues of my safety go. "That is not what I asked you to explain, you are trying to distract me again from the real issue. First of all, we both agreed before that I was a danger magnet here in Forks. So you are not responsible for every misfortune that surrounds me." Edward let out a deep growl, letting me know that he begged to differ but politely waited for me to finish. "Truly, if my safety concerns you so greatly then you should have no qualms about changing me into a vampire. You had every intention of leaving me today, forcing yourself to lie to me. I know you love me and I know you would never intentionally hurt so this must be killing you. Don't you love me enough to want to be with me eternally?"

"Of course I love you Bella," he spoke softly to me. "Yes, part of me is selfish enough to change you, to damn you to this infernal existence. The other part of me refuses to kill you Bella – the pain of transformation is three days of continuous torture, the likes of which you barely felt when James bit you. I would also be robbing you of a rich fulfilling human life with a husband, children, a career, and holidays with Charlie, Rene, and your friends. Being seventeen, I know you don't see yourself that way with kids, husband and career. You are so incredibly young Bella, you've yet to experience so many things. It's not impossible that you could fall in love with someone else. And there is the matter of a soul Bella. I would be damning you to hell or whatever there is in the afterlife."

As I hugged him fiercely, I couldn't help reign in the joy that I felt – I started to laugh.

When I had calmed down enough to talk, he asked, "Bella, how can you be laughing at a time like this? Have I said something funny?" He looked absolutely adorable, wearing my favorite crooked smile and his eyes shone with surprise.

"Sorry Edward," I paused to take a deep breath, "It's just a release of emotions from feeling so happy and relieved at the same time. I'm thrilled that you've opened up and shared your feelings with me. And I'm relieved that you have valid reasons not to change me beyond taking my soul."

I grabbed his hand in mine and pressed it to my heart. "Even though I am young, Edward, I know - within the very depths of my soul – that you are the one for me. It's a gut feeling that goes far beyond the physical thrills I get when you're close to me. My intuition tells me that there will never be another to equal to the pull I feel towards you. It's hard for me to put properly in words, Edward. Please trust me on this – you are my first love, my greatest love, the one who will have no equal. And I'm not so naïve as to think that I would die if you left me. I would mourn you for a long time, I know, but after a while I would survive for Charlie's sake and for my mother's sake. Perhaps I would find someone eventually – but I would just be going through the motions half-heartedly. My heart would never soar again, my joys would be muted, and my pains just multiplied."

I paused briefly as Edward gently brushed a tear sliding down my cheek. "As for the painful transformation, I am willing to do anything, go through any amount of pain, and risk my life many times to be with you. I trust you Edward; you will be there to comfort me and to help me."

Edward had no response for me; I guess for once he was speechless. He simply gazed into my eyes, pressed his face close to mine and kissed me. It was a gentle, lingering kiss. I quickly wrapped my fingers through his hair, securing his face onto mine - trying to prolong it - but I had to break away to breathe.

"Bella, it's getting late; I need to get you back to Charlie before he starts to worry." As he stood up, he held me in his arms, bridal style and started walking back to the house. "Can you forgive me for the unconscionable way I acted today?" he pleaded.

"Edward, you were just trying to protect me and had my best interest at heart. I can forgive and I have forgiven you. Can you promise me that you'll talk to me first if the idea of leaving me ever occurs to you again?"

"Although I don't think there will be a next time, I promise that I will talk to you honestly - without lying. I love you Bella and I will always love you."

That was all I needed to hear.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

I hope that you enjoyed this one shot story. It was an idea that popped into my head one rainy afternoon. Please respond and review –tell me if you liked it or not. Critiques and suggestions are also welcomed.


End file.
